[The sound of the sea is familiar but not welcome. He spits out sand and climbs slowly to his feet. His sword is still in his hand. Cool. If something decides to murder him, he can do what he does best. Dirk lifts his head. His shades are still on and now grubby with sand.
Awesome.
He glances around. No Dave. No creepy, personal space invading Terezi. No Jacks about to try to wreck their day. He taps his shades and no computer screens.]
Really? I better not be fuckin' dead.
[He pats his chest. No blood suddenly appearing. A cry is taken up in the distance and he whips around to face it. A stampede of creatures rushes towards him with all due speed. Before he can process that a shadow falls across him. He turns and stares into a fleshy horror filled wet expanse. Upsy closes around him.
Welcome to Mu, cool kid.]
Are you kidding me?
[Once he's been rejected from the abomination of an elevator he is left to process what the hell he got dumped into. Dripping with who knows what, Dirk walks slowly up a grassy rise. He attempts twice to wipe it from his chest. No dice.
He reaches the top of the rise and peers over into hell.
Actually, hell would be a lot kinder.] Probably more original.
[Spread out below him like someone scooped up the dredges of the internet is a vast cluster of yellow orbs, massive still possibly steaming shit, and various other colored orbs all chattering on in various noises. He really better not be dead. He doesn't want to know who would envision or live with this. He backs up slowly, but one yellow orb catches sight of him and grins too wide with too many teeth.
There's only one solution to be had. He turns and books it.]
You Gelf me. I'll put my boot in your Gelf.
[If this is someone's dream bubble they have to be really off the deep end. Or possibly the sanest fucker in all of known time and space. He's not sure which of those is a lie as he treads deeper into this mysterious land. By now the saliva of the elevator has dried and he feels less like something chewed and spit up. Literally.]
Not a fuckin statement I ever thought I could make but here we are.
[Snowflakes begin to fall and he looks up. What the fuck is going to happen now. He's not messing around this time. He draws his sword and balances it against his shoulder. He'll solve the problem in the way he's damn successful at. With a sword.
He takes a step and almost slips and falls at the sudden ice under his feet. Dirk stabs his sword down into the ice and plants himself firmly on terra firma. Right across from him staring at him with little beady eyes is what looks like a small elf.]
Hell no. [It raises its hands. Not this time. He moves as only he can, fast and with relentless drive. The creature drops a hell of a lot of snow where he and his sword had been. He scoops up some of it and hurls it at it. It nails it square in the face. He doesn't stop to see if it will back off.
He throws another one.] I'm not going to be subjected to whatever is rolling through your tiny brain. [He sends another whizzing through the air.]
I've had just about enough of this place and whatever mind is designing this. Or dreaming it. [Another one.] Give me a damn answer. Or send me back!
[Maybe he's having a quiet meltdown. Maybe he's just hit Doneville population one Dirk Strider with a lifetime membership. Hard to say.] I'm busy!
Dirk Strider | Homestuck
[The sound of the sea is familiar but not welcome. He spits out sand and climbs slowly to his feet. His sword is still in his hand. Cool. If something decides to murder him, he can do what he does best. Dirk lifts his head. His shades are still on and now grubby with sand.
Awesome.
He glances around. No Dave. No creepy, personal space invading Terezi. No Jacks about to try to wreck their day. He taps his shades and no computer screens.]
Really? I better not be fuckin' dead.
[He pats his chest. No blood suddenly appearing. A cry is taken up in the distance and he whips around to face it. A stampede of creatures rushes towards him with all due speed. Before he can process that a shadow falls across him. He turns and stares into a fleshy horror filled wet expanse. Upsy closes around him.
Welcome to Mu, cool kid.]
Are you kidding me?
[Once he's been rejected from the abomination of an elevator he is left to process what the hell he got dumped into. Dripping with who knows what, Dirk walks slowly up a grassy rise. He attempts twice to wipe it from his chest. No dice.
He reaches the top of the rise and peers over into hell.
Actually, hell would be a lot kinder.] Probably more original.
[Spread out below him like someone scooped up the dredges of the internet is a vast cluster of yellow orbs, massive still possibly steaming shit, and various other colored orbs all chattering on in various noises. He really better not be dead. He doesn't want to know who would envision or live with this. He backs up slowly, but one yellow orb catches sight of him and grins too wide with too many teeth.
There's only one solution to be had. He turns and books it.]
You Gelf me. I'll put my boot in your Gelf.
[If this is someone's dream bubble they have to be really off the deep end. Or possibly the sanest fucker in all of known time and space. He's not sure which of those is a lie as he treads deeper into this mysterious land. By now the saliva of the elevator has dried and he feels less like something chewed and spit up. Literally.]
Not a fuckin statement I ever thought I could make but here we are.
[Snowflakes begin to fall and he looks up. What the fuck is going to happen now. He's not messing around this time. He draws his sword and balances it against his shoulder. He'll solve the problem in the way he's damn successful at. With a sword.
He takes a step and almost slips and falls at the sudden ice under his feet. Dirk stabs his sword down into the ice and plants himself firmly on terra firma. Right across from him staring at him with little beady eyes is what looks like a small elf.]
Hell no. [It raises its hands. Not this time. He moves as only he can, fast and with relentless drive. The creature drops a hell of a lot of snow where he and his sword had been. He scoops up some of it and hurls it at it. It nails it square in the face. He doesn't stop to see if it will back off.
He throws another one.] I'm not going to be subjected to whatever is rolling through your tiny brain. [He sends another whizzing through the air.]
I've had just about enough of this place and whatever mind is designing this. Or dreaming it. [Another one.] Give me a damn answer. Or send me back!
[Maybe he's having a quiet meltdown. Maybe he's just hit Doneville population one Dirk Strider with a lifetime membership. Hard to say.] I'm busy!
Wildcard
[Got an idea? Hit me.]