aftr_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME ( 018 )

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TEST DRIVE MEME ( 018 )

Test Drive Meme #18

Hello, and welcome to LifeAftr! We’re pleased that you’re expressing an interest in the game. Here, you can test the waters, gauge how your character may fare in the world of LifeAftr, and even gain some in-game incentives, if you so choose.

Remember that Reserves will open on December 17th! Due to the holiday season, Applications will be opening on December 26th, with an app period shifted to end on January 2nd instead of the usual timeframe!

Two important notes:

1. LifeAftr's test drives take place on the island of Mu, which exists apart from the real world and possesses a dream-like quality that characters are innately aware of from the moment they appear on its shores. No need to panic or fret. Dreams are odd things, after all - and anything can happen in them. Why would anyone question where their mind chooses to wander in its sleep?

2. Due to the nature of Mu, threads in our test drive can not only be accepted as thread samples in your application, but can be accepted as game canon as well. In fact, certain choices your character makes in Mu have the potential to bear in-game consequences, largely in the form of test drive reward items.

Upsy Wars: Revenge of the Lift
Over the past sixteen months, adventurers have adjusted to the sight of a wide variety of odd and fantastical creatures, some friendlier than others. Of the more ferocious, it's wise to consider giving them a wide berth - from the indomitable fustercluck to living black holes to the deadly contagious quartzalcoatls. However, only one predator has gained the dubious title of "that weird flying mouth thing."

Invasive to LifeAftr, Upsy the elevator is not satisfied with haunting the memories of those who encountered it during its arrival in July. Now it's here to haunt your dreams, too! While capable of speech and some style of sentience on its home world, it seems LifeAftr has yet to agree with a machine that is equal parts flesh and metal. Driven to silence by whatever forces this world has exposed it to, Upsy is driven by one, basic instinct, and one alone.

To give you a lift, whether you want it or not.

Upsy’s attacks are abrupt and immediate. Swooping down from the sky, it will collect as many living things in its mouth as can fit, before closing its doors and soaring away. Want to leave? Don't worry; Upsy has no intentions of keeping you, or digesting you. Release from that fleshy mouth prison is as immediate as the initial attack. We hope you enjoy flying, because Upsy can spit even the heaviest of creatures a good hundred feet away from itself, at any altitude. Do look out below.

The Emoji Movie
Communication on the islands currently consists of Stones of Far Speech, a relatively adaptable system that is open to requests and suggestions for improvement. One such request has been met with a small bout of confusion, however; as adaptable as the Storyteller attempts to be, you kids with your mobile phones and your texting and emojis get a little beyond them, sometimes.

Beyond Mu as well, it seems.

When you asked for emojis, this is what you wanted, right? Exclusive to Mu, Emojees come in a variety of shapes and sizes; from knee-high yellow orbs with rows of sharp teeth that simply cannot stop laughing, to horse-sized poop emojees that - well. One can guess. Numbering in the hundreds and intending to convey their meaning by any means possible, it's a good idea to avoid prolonged contact with these happy little abominations.

The taller, more objective emojees will simply try to absorb those attached to them in an effort to become even larger, but the smaller infect their prey with the emotions they portray, influencing them into the perfect emotional state for consumption.

In hindsight, this is probably not what the children actually wanted...

Close enough.

Let It Go Snow
LifeAftr may be primarily tropical, but that doesn't mean some of its creatures don't appreciate a good white Christmas - and a white rest of the year, at that.

Gelfs are one such species. While they may be visually reminiscent of Santa's Little Helpers, these small creatures aren't about to start handing out presents. Having snuck onto Mu's metaphysical shores at the beginning of the month, these little critters have immediately set about doing what they do best - spreading ice and snow across the island, in increasingly hazardous quantities.

As the influence of the gelfs settles across Mu, it's quite possible that the abrupt cold snap will lead to severe consequences for any adventurous guests, unless you enjoy the prospect of an avalanche waiting to happen Now may be the best time to hunt these gelfs down, before such disaster can occur.

For those uninterested in massacring a local creature population (again), you may as well enjoy this winter wonderland while it lasts. Ice skating, snowball fights - and for those in the know, the time-honored competition to create the best dabbing ice sculpture. If you're lucky, you might even find a container of piping hot wassail - spiced apple cider - laying around.

LOGS ● OOC ● STORIES ● MAIN NAVIGATION

( CODED BY BOOTYCALL )

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I told you about the - WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

[The sound of the sea is familiar but not welcome. He spits out sand and climbs slowly to his feet. His sword is still in his hand. Cool. If something decides to murder him, he can do what he does best. Dirk lifts his head. His shades are still on and now grubby with sand.

Awesome.

He glances around. No Dave. No creepy, personal space invading Terezi. No Jacks about to try to wreck their day. He taps his shades and no computer screens.]

Really? I better not be fuckin' dead.

[He pats his chest. No blood suddenly appearing. A cry is taken up in the distance and he whips around to face it. A stampede of creatures rushes towards him with all due speed. Before he can process that a shadow falls across him. He turns and stares into a fleshy horror filled wet expanse. Upsy closes around him.

Welcome to Mu, cool kid.]

Are you kidding me?

[Once he's been rejected from the abomination of an elevator he is left to process what the hell he got dumped into. Dripping with who knows what, Dirk walks slowly up a grassy rise. He attempts twice to wipe it from his chest. No dice.

He reaches the top of the rise and peers over into hell.

Actually, hell would be a lot kinder.] Probably more original.

[Spread out below him like someone scooped up the dredges of the internet is a vast cluster of yellow orbs, massive still possibly steaming shit, and various other colored orbs all chattering on in various noises. He really better not be dead. He doesn't want to know who would envision or live with this. He backs up slowly, but one yellow orb catches sight of him and grins too wide with too many teeth.

There's only one solution to be had. He turns and books it.]

You Gelf me. I'll put my boot in your Gelf.

[If this is someone's dream bubble they have to be really off the deep end. Or possibly the sanest fucker in all of known time and space. He's not sure which of those is a lie as he treads deeper into this mysterious land. By now the saliva of the elevator has dried and he feels less like something chewed and spit up. Literally.]

Not a fuckin statement I ever thought I could make but here we are.

[Snowflakes begin to fall and he looks up. What the fuck is going to happen now. He's not messing around this time. He draws his sword and balances it against his shoulder. He'll solve the problem in the way he's damn successful at. With a sword.

He takes a step and almost slips and falls at the sudden ice under his feet. Dirk stabs his sword down into the ice and plants himself firmly on terra firma. Right across from him staring at him with little beady eyes is what looks like a small elf.]

Hell no. [It raises its hands. Not this time. He moves as only he can, fast and with relentless drive. The creature drops a hell of a lot of snow where he and his sword had been. He scoops up some of it and hurls it at it. It nails it square in the face. He doesn't stop to see if it will back off.

He throws another one.] I'm not going to be subjected to whatever is rolling through your tiny brain. [He sends another whizzing through the air.]

I've had just about enough of this place and whatever mind is designing this. Or dreaming it. [Another one.] Give me a damn answer. Or send me back!

[Maybe he's having a quiet meltdown. Maybe he's just hit Doneville population one Dirk Strider with a lifetime membership. Hard to say.] I'm busy!

Wildcard
[Got an idea? Hit me.]

Edited 2018-12-14 06:53 (UTC)

[Progress is slow with the damage Upsy has caused by spitting her out from a relatively high altitude, but Gobbet is almost to the edge of the jungle when Dirk goes streaking past her like a bat out of hell. She can only assume the elevator has returned and wastes absolutely zero time in following suit.

Guess what? Running with broken and/or bruised ribs sucks. And it's only a matter of time before it catches up anyway if that's what they're running from. Which is why she grabs Dirk's arm and dives for the cover of a fallen tree's upended roots. If they can get far enough under the overhanging tangle of roots and dirt, they can avoid aerial detection.

About halfway through the action, she thinks "Wow, this is stupid, I should have just let him be bait and lead it away." but it's a bit late for regrets for one, and he's the first person she's seen on this godforsaken island for another. Therefor she feels obligated to at least make an attempt.]

[He is so focused he doesn't see or hear her coming. He damn well should have. By the time he can react he's being pulled towards cover. Fuck it. He goes for it and kicks at the dirt to push it up and provide a little more cover.

The horde of abominations thunder past and their infernal cackling raises the hairs on the back of his neck. Dirk flattens himself down. He's a tall guy but is perfectly adept at being hidden. He waits two minutes after the horde has gone by to speak low.]

Thanks.

Tell me you have a clue about what mess I've landed in. If you don't, don't worry about it. I have fuck all idea what is going on.

[Okay, okay. So that's not the elevator, but damn if it isn't kind of worse? Gobbet stares at the passing stampede with an expression of utter bewilderment and mild disgust. She's pretty sure she saw sentient, moving shit in that mess. Dirk's words break the daze and ringing in her ears, but sshe's got some bad news for him.]

I mean, it's a dream, I think? I thought, anyway. Now I'm just confused and grossed out. So. Same boat, I guess.

[He takes off his shades and pinches the bridge of his nose. He wants to be surprised. He really does.] Of fuckin course it's a dream.

Okay, let's go the opposite direction of the living emojis and pray that's the last of them. [He will lose his shit and have a divorce of the handle if Japanese emojis pop up.

There are some things that are just too far. He slowly stands up and puts his eyewear back on.] What do you know about this place? I was literally coughing up sand less than an hour ago.

[Honestly she's not sure what an emoji is. The semi-dystopian future of the sixth world doesn't have those, as far as she's aware. But if they look and/or act like those things she doesn't care for them very much.

But, he's asking for intel, and as much as she hates to give that away for free, she doesn't have much to begin with and it seems rude to charge for what she does have. Gobbet brushes some of the dirt from her clothes as she stands.]

Well, this place is an island. Dunno about you but I certainly don't come from tropical island territory. There's a demonic elevator on the loose. Oh, and there are little gremlin-looking weirdos making snow. Which...I feel like this isn't my dream, if that makes sense? None of those elements apply to me, anyway.

[A white rat pokes it's head from her pocket and she shifts to petting it absently.]

Yeah, that makes sense. [That leaves two choices, some dead person's dream or someone else dreaming. Neither option is appealing. He dusts himself off and winces.]

I've met that infernal vore machine. Not a fan. How about we strike west away from both of them and see if we can get a good vantage point.

If the hellvator comes for us...I can maybe distract it. Maybe. [He has a really stupid idea but the vorevator is really stupid too so. Maybe it will work. Dirk pauses and adds,]

The name's Dirk.

[The rat also earns a pause but he doesn't comment just yet as he turns west and cautiously starts moving in that direction.]

Edited (thanks enter key) 2018-12-17 22:46 (UTC)

Sounds like a plan.

[They're on the same wavelength about which way to go and why, which is nice. Usually she'd have a better sense of which way is west but she feels kind of...disconnected from her magic and Totem here. She can't sense any kind of spirits or astral plane to snoop in and can't feel her Totem guiding her in any particular direction. Honestly, it makes her feel a bit naked and vulnerable.

But Dirk seems to have it under control so. Gobbet follows without giving it too much thought. If this is a dream, there's no danger. If this isn't, she can probably handle herself even without her magic. Probably.

She supposes he expects a name in return.]

I'm Gobbet. This is Folly. Don't trust her, she bites. [She gestures towards the rat, which disappears back into her pocket immediately.] Madness is in the other pocket. She's usually not this skittish.

[He glances at her. There is so much to unpack in that he decides not to go there. His left eyebrow raises and settles back down.]

I'm just a guy with a sword who tumbled ass backwards into whatever the hell this is. Like you said earlier, it doesn't feel like the dreams I'm used to. There's no sense of purpose or changes assisted by the memories of the dreaming dead.

[That makes no fucking sense without context but he leaves it there as he picks his way through the forest. He has his sword and he's ready violently party with anything that decides they're dinner.]

I can say that I feel slower and I only have access to one weapon. [The foliage is giving way to green grass and snow. He pauses. Snow on a tropical island. His right eyebrow raises then settles down.]

...I'm starting to think it's just messing with us.

[Okay sense of purpose she kind of gets, dreams are usually somewhat indicative of something going on in the waking world, but the part about dead people really catches Gobbet off guard. Does. Does Dirk often experience the dreams of the dead. Do the dead dream. She has questions. Instead of asking them, she plows ahead with the conversation. If neither of them are going to clarify anything they're saying, perhaps they will come to a mutual understanding through sheer force of will.]

You're feeling that too, huh? That kinda...dumbed down feeling.

[She eyes the snow with clear disdain. Cold and gross. Plus there's a Christmas elf hiding behind that tree, under an extremely localized snow cloud.

Sorry, what?]

Yeah, well. This place could use a better sense of humor. Also what the hell is that?

...oh for fuck’s sake. [There’s a little elf behind the tree. He can see it through the reflection of his shades.]

This place could use sense. [He shivers as the cold wind coming from the localized snow storm reaches him. This is stupid. He could be dumb and march right up to it. He eyes it as he moves to take a path away from it.

A shadow falls over him and too late he tries to bail. A huge pile of snow gets dumped down on him. His hand thrusts up out of the snow. It pats around the top of the pile. Upon locating by feel the right direction he flips the elf off.]

[Gobbet's snort of laughter at Dirk's misfortune is cut off by a sudden harsh wind that covers her left side in heavy, wet snow. An indignant chittering noise comes from her pocket as a damp, frosty white rat crawls up to her right shoulder and tries to wipe itself dry with its paws.

Shivering and grumbling, she tries to at least uncover Dirk's head so he doesn't suffocate in the snowpile, but her attention is fixed over her shoulder on the stony faced gremlin causing all this nonsense. One wrong move and she's punting you into the tree tops, fucker.]

Try to bolt or kick that thing's ass? Your call, Shades.

[The sounds are muffled but he can clearly hear a rat having a definite problem with snow. He sighs. Ridiculous antics? Check. Bullshit enemies. Fucking check.

Stupid things bound to happen? Might as well check this too. Bing-fucking-o. He shoves at the snow and is almost out when Gobbet gets his head clear. He thrusts his other arm up and hoists himself out of the snow.

He's damp, shivering, and would like to execute his Punt.exe program. He pauses.]

You know what? Let's wreck him. I'm done hot-footing it and running into steadily more ridiculous and more annoying enemies.

[He scoops up some snow and forms it into a ball, then lets it fly.]

Ha, I like the way you think.

[Honestly she was going to look for a weapon and get to work, but snowballs are both more fun and probably more fitting of a punishment. She muses absently on how easily she can be spurred into violence as she turns to the snow pile.

The discomfort of cold fingers is worth the satisfaction of pelting that little nonsense creature with all she's got. It makes a token attempt to dodge, but she's thrown enough acid bolts to know how to lead her shot. Get staggered, nerd.]

[ he talks a lot, she thinks. talking distracts from the battle. acxa is quiet as she watches the creature's movement, but it doesn't appear hostile. yet, with how much snow it's generating and the mound that's underneath it, acxa can already foresee some lethal consequences coming out of allowing these creatures to fill the island with copious amounts of snow.

if there's one thing that can be said about her, however, it's that acxa doesn't care for bloodshed. she puts her hand out in front of dirk to try and stop him. ]

Let me take care of this.

[He goes still. It's not just his body, his breathing, all of him is suddenly locked in the last move he made. He hadn't sensed or heard her approach. Dirk has never had that happen before.

It doesn't spell good things. His hand lowers, and the sword is lowered. It's deceptive. If she goes for an attack he has an angled strike for the ribs.]

Go for it. [He waits, relaxed and focused.]

[ she has no reason to attack him. they've got their eyes on the same target, seemingly for different reasons, but she isn't here to make enemies. she's made too many in the deca-phoebs she's been around. she senses his apprehension; it feels familiar.

but she aims at the creature, and she fires her pistol. the laser connects...but the gelf doesn't die. rather, it freezes in place. it's been stunned.

acxa lowers her gun and looks over at the boy. ]

We need to move. Now.

[Dirk is up and moving, his blade going into its sheath the moment she looks at him. He doesn’t say a word compared to his previous unhinged moment. He’s had his fill of a meltdown. It’s time to go.]

North. We’ll avoid a pass of both packs of abominations. [He navigates the ice with some success. His shoes aren’t made for it but sliding a little is like grinding a pipe. He glances behind him to make sure she’s following.]

There’s a pass up ahead. Cuts right through to the beach.

[Well, someone is not having a good day. Lance is almost tempted to leave the guy and his tantrum alone, but...

He hasn't had entertainment like this in a while. He almost wishes he had popcorn.]

Talking to yourself isn't going to do you much, buddy.

[Lance stands a decent ways away with his arms crossed, watching Dirk throw a shitfit at the weird little elves. He's not a fan of them - definitely isn't a fan of the way they're just spewing up snow - but he's not as bothered as this weirdo is.]

[Dirk turns his head to get a look at whoever is mocking him and catches sight of a whole load of snow falling from above. He whips about and slings a snowball at the elf he’d been retaliating against. Then he darts away like a fleet footed rabbit and up to the massive pile of snow.]

Hey! Shout out, I can figure out how far in you are if you keep calling.

[The snow is just getting ridiculous, now. Can you calm down a little bit, gelfs?]

I'll be fine!

[He, at least, has a jetpack.]

You should worry about yourself.

[He starts to retort when a loud insane sounding cackle breaks the sudden silence. Dirk stiffens. The ground shakes. He judges where the other guy is and moves around the pile of snow to speak low.]

Fine. I'm about to book it. You should too. Unless you want to up to your head in shit. Literally.

[He glances around for a good hiding spot, and adds.] When you get out, cut southwest. There are some old fallen trees.

[No explanation given. He's already heading out with all speed. Him and the gelfs both. They know when shit is coming.]

[Why is Mu always like this? You fall asleep and end up here and you expect things to be predictable, but there's always some sort of wild curveball.

Maybe someone will explain that to this guy, that none of it is really real, but...

The guy's already booking it, so. There's that.

Clearing the snow drifts is easy enough - jetpack still works, after all - and he does head southwest like the guy says, but he does wonder about that shit comment. (But he also doesn't really want to know, because animated poop seems exactly like something that would happen here, and Lance doesn't want to vomit everywhere.)]

I take it you've been running around for a while.

[He touches down on the trees, taking up a perch on them.]

[When Lance finds Dirk he has his rocket board laid out and is attempting to figure out what is damaged inside its engine to mess it up. Water damage seems likely but, it isn't all of it.

He doesn't look up from his work, but his shoulders are a little tenser.] That's right. Long enough to get a general idea of the bullshit parade I've found myself in. I can list off what I know so you don't have to rehash points if you plan to enlighten me further.

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TEST DRIVE MEME ( 018 )

Dirk Strider | Homestuck

second prompt!

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YIKES LIFE GOT AWAY FROM ME SORRY FOR THE WAIT

gelf go vroom vroom :)))

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gelf on the shelf

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