[Once he recognizes he's being yelled at, Connor gets angry too. That's - he knows how to be angry. He's good at being angry, at deflecting from the empty void where his ability to function normally would have gone if he wasn't missing it.

If he gets angry, people get afraid and then they avoid him. That way they can't let him down. That way he doesn't have to see the disappointment in their eyes when he fails at some test he doesn't even know the questions for.]

Of course I wasted them! Why wouldn't they be wasted when I can't do anything right? I fucking - I tried! I got good grades, I played baseball even though I hated it, I earned my stupid merit badges and you fucking know what? It was never enough!

[They're gonna tip the raft over at this rate, which is kind of the fatal flaw in Connor's plan to get angry and push someone away while on a raft in the ocean. It's fine. He can probably swim back to shore?]

So, yeah. I wasted my life, because I'm eighteen and I've never done some remarkable thing! If you want it so badly, then fucking take it!