TEST DRIVE MEME ( 015 )

[lifeaftr_mods]

Test Drive Meme #15

Hello, and welcome to LifeAftr! We’re pleased that you’re expressing an interest in the game. Here, you can test the waters, gauge how your character may fare in the world of LifeAftr, and even gain some in-game incentives, if you so choose.

Remember that Reserves will open on September 17th, and Applications on September 24th!

Two important notes:

1. LifeAftr's test drives take place on the island of Mu, which exists apart from the real world and possesses a dream-like quality that characters are innately aware of from the moment they appear on its shores. No need to panic or fret. Dreams are odd things, after all - and anything can happen in them. Why would anyone question where their mind chooses to wander in its sleep?

2. Due to the nature of Mu, threads in our test drive can not only be accepted as thread samples in your application, but can be accepted as game canon as well. In fact, certain choices your character makes in Mu have the potential to bear in-game consequences, largely in the form of test drive reward items.

Drawn to You
The forest is dark, silent but for the snap-buzz of cricket song. Nearby, the soft babble of running water threads its way between the rough-barked trunks, though the origin of said water is difficult, at first, to pinpoint.

Granted, you probably aren't paying much attention to the forest, or the water, or the darkness. You're probably more concerned about the creatures flitting to and fro in sparse groups, most of them quite small. They tend to vary in appearance - some look to be totally benign, while others considerably less so - but all belong to the same species.

Scribblets are wily beasts, dream-haunters by nature, and they seem to revel in the idle torment they inflict upon those who cross their paths. You, dear travelers, are no exception. And while they are quite easily crushed into dust once caught, they are exceedingly slippery, agile creatures that are most difficult to pin down. If you're not careful enough, the scribblets will fasten a peculiar tether to you. It looks very much like it is made of the same materials they, resembling a sketchy line of crayon, drawn into the third dimension. Their intent, tonight, is to tie you to something that will make your life difficult - binding you to a tree trunk or to a branch far above the ground, tying your hands together...or even tying you to someone else. These bonds will only grow progressively denser and heavier the more you struggle against them.

Fortunately, the solution here is very simple. Like any drawing, it can be washed away if you find water. You'd simply better hope that you're able to collaborate with whoever you must in order to access said water, whether it's working alongside whoever you might be tied to, or convincing someone to lend you a hand.

You'd better hope the scribblets don't go after them either, by the way.

Quarantine Breached
Whatever this place once was, nature has long since claimed it for its own. A darkened, secluded laboratory now nearly swallowed by thick snarls of overgrowth is probably not your ideal vacation spot, particularly since there's a dearth of any decent lighting sources here. Drenched in shadow as this place was, it might have been helpful if you had thought to bring a light.

Fortunately, that problem is soon to be solved! Twin smoldering points of light abruptly ignite several yards away from you, paired with the pitched mechanical hum of engaging circuits. Another pair of lights immediately spritzes to life just beside it, and another pair, and another...and another...and...

Well, there seems to be a lot of them, doesn't there? "Attention," chimes a pitched, automated voice, doubtless issuing from one of the many automatons that have begun to stir awake, one by one. "Potential host sighted. Quarantine breached."

You must understand, traveler: the island of Umui was nothing like this. The guardian units there were conscious nurse-bots, charged with caring for the sick and dying populace of a hospice island. Most did so with as much care as they were capable. But in the initial days of Umui's exploration, a great deal of explorers' anxieties revolved around these fallen automatons, and what possible purpose they may have served.

We invite you to imagine a scenario in which this went horribly wrong.

Consider these automatons to be shadowy, overzealous mirrors of their long-dead, real-world equivalents. They have learned to become hyper-devoted to their task of keeping their patients safe; so devoted, it seems, that nothing will stop them from fulfilling those obligations. They intend to catch and sedate you so that you can be...returned...to a place of safety.

Unfortunately, this place of safety probably entails an inescapable four-walled room or a hospital bed, and it's doubtful, to say in the least, that enough of their programming remains for them to remember to care for and feed you once you've been returned to whatever passes for a quarantine zone. In a decrepit, dilapidated building like this, it's probably not pleasant.

Our advice is to simply not get caught. If this means doing some inevitable destruction to all this complex hardware in the process, well...at least there's no chance you'll be billed for damages.

The New Farm Simulator Looks Great!
It is possible that you vaguely recall being asked to take watch this evening. By whom? Oh, please, that doesn't matter! With the pleasant hum of crickets in the air, and a backdrop of paddocks and grain fields around you, there are plenty of worse ways to spend your evening than this. All you have to do is keep an eye on passive livestock. The farmer's life is a simple one, where your biggest problem is trying not to fall asleep before your shift is over.

In theory, anyway. While the scenery of the quiet countryside may be ideal, the state of the farm's buildings and and fences is far from it. For the curious creatures such as popo, there really isn't much to keep them in one place for long, wide stretches of fenceline ruined by fallen sections. Meaning that these massive, shaggy creatures can simply step over the crushed regions and start plowing their way contentedly in the direction of the fields of grain - fields that were certainly not intended to end up in some silly beast's stomach.

For others, sweet grains aren't as appealing as that sweet, sweet taste of freedom. A word of advice: once the popo are over those hills, you won't be seeing them again. And they might not be terribly fast on their own, but in a herd, they can get to be as dangerous as a stampede.

Hope you weren't expecting an easy night, because in LifeAftr, there's no CJB cheats menu to save you.

---

LOGS ● OOC ● STORIES ● MAIN NAVIGATION

Comments

Leonard Church--a different one I promise | Red vs Blue

[motherfucking_ghost]

scribblenauts
[Maybe you find Church--in essence, a blue armored person who is underneath the armor a fucking robot--while he's blindly going around the forest. Because it's dark and a forest and what the fuck is going on?

Maybe you find Church swatting at the scribbles like they're particularly annoying flies.] Get out of my face if you're not gonna help, you 2D bastards! Ah-ha, [after somehow nabbing one, lucky shot] see here? That's what I'm gonna do to the rest of you if you don't get outta here!

[Or maybe you find Church where he inevitably ends up: hanging upside down, one angle secured pretty firmly to a branch, arms crossed, and very unhappy.]

I swear to GOD if SOMEONE doesn't get me OUT of this FUCKING DEATH TRAP I am going to GNAW MY OWN LEG OFF!

safety not guaranteed
[He wasn't happy before, when he found himself in this place, like a fucking haunted hospital from the cheesiest horror movie. Less happy with creepy skeletal robots who only want to 'help'. Maybe you find him while running to and fro, and, honestly, if you put a Scooby-Doo chase sequence over it, it'd be pretty funny. Except Shaggy never grabbed a piece of piping and whacked the monster across the face with it.]

Sorry, my insurance definitely doesn't cover this!

[Or maybe you find him, frantic, back pressed to a couple stacked beds pressed against a door.]

Don't just stand there, help me! I dunno if they're gonna find another way around or what!

don't wanna be a cowboy baby
[He doesn't...know why he's here. He doesn't know why he cares. And normally that would mean climbing a tree, chilling out, pulling a Grif, and let things play out as they will. But he does care, for reasons that escape him, so he's trying to fix the fences. Hamming at posts or gathering up wood and wire and nail in his arms.

More likely, he's chasing after some wayward...is that a fucking woolly mammoth? In the heart of dixie? Is that--is that what the hell is happening here?]

No no no c'mere boy! [whistle] Come on, back this way, back with your friends! You hairy piece of shit, I'm talking to you! Uh, uhhhh, don't you want something nicer to eat?

[flower_of_innocence]

[Wowowow watch your language, Church, there are children on the island!!]

[Fortunately for him, Lillie isn't the type to not help someone in need just because they're cursing up a storm. When she comes across the dangling soldier, she has to stifle a little laugh, her hand flying up to cover her mouth as if she can catch it before it escapes. He just looks so mad, despite the helmet obscuring his expression, and, well. It's funny.]

[Church probably sees Nebby first, the little cosmic cloud-creature following her, as it waddles/floats right up to his visor to examine its own reflection and cry out cheerfully. Lillie follows close behind, calling up from under him:]

Um...Do you need a hand?

[motherfucking_ghost]

Gah-! [Whatever the fuck Nebby is, he doesn't know it, and it's not one of these crayon critters, and he tries to swing away from it, which...equal and opposite reactions as he just sort of chaotically swings back toward it.]

What the fuck are you! What the fuck is going on! Get me down from here! [And added after a moment of exasperation:] Please.

[flower_of_innocence]

[Unfortunately the pendulum-like motion is interpreted as a playful move because Nebby has never been the best at interpreting tone. And so it floats a circle around Church's swinging body, waving its little puff-arms happily. Lillie lets out a little snrk, not mean spirited but probably a little rude given the situation.]

[Lucky for Church she's wearing some of the clothes she got from the temple - jeans and a starry t-shirt are much better suited to tree-climbing than a badly bloodied dress.]

Here, try not to move so much...I don't want to- well, I guess you're wearing armor, so...Still, try to stay still, please.

[As she talks, Lillie slips her knapsack off and digs around for the knife she was given upon arrival. She'll just have him hold onto the branch while she cuts him free and he'll be fine, right? No problem.]

[She's not a natural climber so progress is a bit slow, but she starts making her way up the tree while Nebby continues to harass Church above.]

[motherfucking_ghost]

Okay, okay, I'll try, just--call off the guard dog! The guard...cloud? The guard...puff of pipsqueak smoke--

Seriously, what is this thing?

hurgles sorry for the delay

[flower_of_innocence]

It's...my friend. Don't worry, Nebby won't hurt you. I don't think it even can...

[Somehow she doubts "It's a Cosmog" will clear up absolutely anything, given the nature of the island. So she sticks to "my friend" for now. Still, if it makes Church feel better, Nebby loses interest quickly enough and winds up back by Lillie's side as she clambers over one branch and onto the next.]

[It's not a particularly graceful sight, but hey. She's not a tree-climbing kid by nature.]

[Once she reaches Church, Lillie sits herself on the branch where she can reach the tethers.]

...eh?!

[The knife. Just doesn't work. It just straight up does not cut the tether.]

scribblenauts

[tuskenlancer]

[ She'd recognize that high-pitched, indignant screeching anywhere.

The sound of Leonard Church yelling in foul-mouthed rage is such a familiar one by now that for a fraction of a second, the importance of hearing it here doesn't register at all. It's just Church.

It's just Church.

She audibly gasps, not that there's anyone around to hear it, and then starts running through the forest in the direction of the voice, pulling up short just to stare up at him in disbelief.

He's gone and gotten himself trapped. Of course he has. But that doesn't register at first either, because CT's just staring up at him in wide-eyed disbelief, her heart in her throat. ]

Church?

[motherfucking_ghost]

[He waves his arms, gently swaying back and forth with the motion.] Yes, hi, finally, thought I was gonna yell myself hoarse here for a minute! Find me a saw or something to get this thing off or cut the branch or something and then we can kill these annoying little fucks!

[tuskenlancer]

[ There's still no way to tell if this is her Church, if he's taking her presence here for granted or if he doesn't recognize her at all. But all that can wait. CT steps up to the tether suspending him off the ground, pressing her lips into a thin line as she recognizes its hand-drawn appearance. ]

Okay. Hold still.

[ She climbs halfway up the tree's exposed roots to get closer, grabbing onto Church's ankle rather than taking the risk of touching the tether herself, and pulls out her knife, starting to saw away at the thing. It's a good knife, one Varric had given her, and it should cut through something like this no problem - only it doesn't. The more she tries to cut through, the sturdier the hand-drawn rope seems to get, until she pulls back in frustration. ]

Dammit, it's not working!

[motherfucking_ghost]

It's like a fucking pencil drawing, how can you not cut through it?! What's it made out of, god damn vibranium? [He's trying to sit himself up, doubled over and holding onto his suspended thigh.] I swear to god, if--......uuuuuugh, head rush.

[tuskenlancer]

I don't know, shut up and let me think!

[ Just because she's used to it, doesn't mean it's not still annoying. She turns away from him, still frowning. Cutting the rope isn't going to work, and there's no way she's going to be able to hack off that tree branch. They've got to try something else.

CT's had her own run-ins with the scribblets, mostly in the form of swatting them away. But she'd also happened to run across a stream in her efforts to escape them, and had the satisfaction of seeing them rush after her and immediately hiss and twist in pain as the water hit them.

Maybe. Maybe... ]

...Hang on, I'll be right back.

[ As if he's going anywhere. She turns and dashes back the way she'd come, reappearing what must seem like an eternity later and carrying her own helmet upside down. Upon closer inspection, it's full of water.

Thank God she'd been wearing her armor today. ]

Okay. I think this'll work.

[ She steps closer again, lifts the helmet up high, and, bereft of a better delivery system, half tosses, half dumps the water all over the rope as high as she can reach and all over Church in the process. ]

[ourcurrency]

[Dylan never had the chance to meet Church, though she knows lots about him from her research on the Reds and Blues. Unfortunately, she recognizes his armor, but not from seeing him in it. It looks like Temple's.

Which means she doesn't immediately move to try and help him when she catches him hanging from a tree. Instead she slows and looks up at him cautiously.]

Wow, very threatening. And extremely unlikely while you're in armor.

[motherfucking_ghost]

[Just because he's hanging upside down doesn't mean he can't flip her off.] Yeah, okay, haha, it's called hyperbole, now are you gonna help me down from here or what?

[ourcurrency]

I'm thinking about it. What's your name?

[Of course, if it is Temple, he could lie. But he's not acting like he just tried to take over and/or destroy the Earth. He's acting like he's stuck in a tree.]

[motherfucking_ghost]

Church. [She...doesn't look military, but then, when has he ever actually seen anyone more official than Washington?] Private Church of Blue Army, if that's even still a thing anymore after Simmons deleted us from record.

[ourcurrency]

That... really doesn't narrow it down as much as you'd think.

[There are a whole lot of Churches running around. She thought all of them were dead, but hey, it wouldn't be the first time they were wrong about that.

But he's definitely not the Director. That much she's sure of. And that means he's most likely at least tentatively an ally. She's already dealt with this stuff herself, so she knows how to get it off.]

Stay right there.

[Like he can go anywhere. She strides away to get some water.]

SAFETY FIRST

[counterblows]

[That's right around the time that several BR55HB SR rounds shear the automaton's head from the rusted stalk of its neck, blowing the cold amber glow of its eye's lights out with a shower of fiberglass and metal. Several of them crook their heads around to regard the new intruder with flat, concerned indifference.]

[Don't think about it. The way the lab's darkened lighting casts his armor in a shade of blue, and how there are only so many people who can spew that panicked, furious falsetto.]

[Think, instead, about something more direct.]

Shouldn't you be armed?

[motherfucking_ghost]

[Oh.

Well.

That's sure someone he, in retrospect, probably should've figured he'd run into. But whatever complicated feelings he has about Washington, first name Agent (David? is anyone allowed to call him David?), they are put aside for more pressing matters.]

Yes. Yes, I should be armed, but do you see a rifle on me? No! You don't. I don't know where the fuck it is. I didn't have it when I woke up in this BULLSHIT ASYLUM!

[Honestly, everyone should be very glad that he was not gifted the gift of bullets.]

[counterblows]

[Remember it.]

[Remember the pitched whine of engaging circuits before the E.M.P. rinses everything dry, remember counting the seconds to unconsciousness while you hemorrhaged into your armor from the bullet lodged in your chest cavity. Remember C.T. and the way her face twisted when she put together the pieces: he was my friend.]

[Remember the slow-burning realization burning in your guts when Carolina asked where Epsilon was.]

[Which one is it? Which one are you? Which one are - fuck, get it the fuck together, Washington, you're not scattering pixels over a digital soulscape, you're not someone else's fucking memories, you're years past it so stop acting like you're concussed stop acting like this is shaking you to your core stop acting stop thinking stop thinking goddamnit - ]

[Because that's given one of the automatons a window to try and disarm him.]

Fuck - [That's all he has time for before: stop. Wrench the ka-bar from the mag-strip at thigh-level, slam it into the thing's neck, in and out again, sever the cables and corroded metal, watch it spark and thrash and die.]

[Leave the ka-bar buried in the skeleton of the robot's chassis. Draw the M6D and toss the pistol Church's way.]

[(Which one?)]

[Leave it. Doesn't matter. Leave it. Focus. Later. Later, goddamnit, later.]

Then - here!

[motherfucking_ghost]

Wha-! [It's a near thing, fumbling the catch enough that any sane man would be worried about it going off but not enough to drop it.] Jesus, a little more warning next time, maybe!

[Thanks, in other words. Church knows how to use a gun, handles it with ease. It's just the...hitting things he shoots at part that goes awry. But he feels so much better with a gun in his hands, and much as he hates it, he sidles up next to Wash, almost but not quite back to back.]

Okay. Okay. So. Where's the nearest door? Preferably away from the stepford nurses!

can't hit the broad side of a barn anyway

[uptightness]

[Why she agreed to this, Carolina can't say. While she doesn't have qualms about helping others, she's not exactly an animal person by any stretch of the imagination. Not like they had pets when she was growing up.

And this? How the farmer has managed to keep any animals is beyond her. He really should have more pride in his place, take care of it just like she does her own armor. It's why she is mending the fences, shooing off the curious critters that some to bother her, pushing harder as one licks at her armor. She is not edible, and in fact, is thinking about how nicely a hamburger would be just about now... Even if it's not a cow.

She's moved on though to the next stretch of fence, that aqua armor in a field of faded yellow, yet as she draws closer there is a distinctly familiar voice, right down to that whine and swearing. It slips past her mouth before she even has a choice to bring it back, a roughness to it, as it not believing her eyes.]

Church?

[motherfucking_ghost]

Yeah?

[He pauses mid-step, whipping his head toward the voice and letting the critter toddle off a few more steps. Though it's not seen, those talented in reading blank visors for emotions might be able to get the impression of...scrutinizing. Narrowed eyes.

He knows of the Freelancers. The things he knows are the things Tex had told him (no, wait, that's not quite right, is it?), names and stories, and he'd briefly met a few before he got assigned and she got Omega (no...no that's not what really happened), so he gets the impression of something familiar about her.

But whatever he thinks he recognizes, it passes by as he remembers the animal he's supposed to help corral back to the herd.]

Ah, shit, you wanna give me a hand? Can you make like a lasso or something?

[uptightness]

[There might have been more that Carolina would have said, but at that moment, she turns back towards the creatures, and curses mildly under her breath. That... Is a fair amount of animals he's let wander on his watch.]

Does it look like I have something to make a lasso?

[That mild exasperation in her voice. It's not like she really came prepared to deal with oversized animals. Where's Caboose when you need him, because he'd been able to befriend dinosaurs.

... well, she might have her grappling hook, but she's not entirely certain that it is a good idea.]

I think we need to make the gap bigger to drive them back through. I might be able to use my grappling hook as a tether so that we can gently herd them back.

[motherfucking_ghost]

[Wow, put all the blame on him!!!]

I dunno, you're here same as me, maybe you picked up some god damn rope with your fencing supplies. How do you drive cattle, don't you need like...dogs and horses?

I don't think they're listening to me anyway.

[He gingerly pats a lumbering beasty on the flank.] I say this as if I don't recognize I'm trying to talk to a woolly mammoth in the middle of farmland that as far as I know came out of nowhere.

wanders in super duper late | safety not guaranteed

[tokenflavortownie]

[There was a lot to process in this dream, which she's fairly certain is a dream. By this point in time, she's sort of learned to catch the subtle differences between them and reality. Did it stop the killer robots around here from being any less scary? That's a big 'nope'.

Best thing to happen yet was the knowledge that she could outrun the freaky things, but in a maze-like structure like this place, there were so many twists and turns to get lost in.

She'd just rushed in through another door and slammed it shut when she heard a voice off to the side. Out of the corner of her eye, she spots someone braced against another door.]

Hang- hang on! I'll be there in a seco- [Wait, she recognizes that particularly loud voice.] Church?