Player: Zero
Character/Username: Agent Washington (counterblows)
Prior to coming to LifeAftr, what is an aspect of your character that they struggled with - be it a shortcoming, a fear, a bad habit, or eccentricity? BOY WHAT HASN'T HE. Guilt. Self-destruction. Paranoia. Internalized rage. PTSD. He has a Lot that he's lived with over the years. His sense of justice and accountability feeds into his desire for vengeance and preexisting anger issues, as well as a general inability or flat-out refusal to forgive himself as a result. A fraying of his sense of self due to how many memories have been thrown into his head and utterly skullfucked him. While he's better than he was, he also tends to assume the worst of people; betrayal is an inevitability and an expectation, not a possibility.

What do they struggle with now? Is it the same as the above? LifeAftr has exacerbated Wash's feeling of vulnerability in regards to his psychological health. While his road to recovery has been far from a straight line, the effect of recent events have plunged him into self-doubt regarding his sanity. After October's event, he's tripped straight into the pitfalls of "oh ha ha Guess I'm Going Crazy Again!!!" which has intensified preexisting feelings of loss of self-identity. This has also exacerbated his trust issues, paranoia, and ongoing struggles with PTSD.

What personal demons, specifically, haunt your character from canon or from past game experiences? Epsilon is the biggest one - memories of Churches, plural, still fuck him up on the daily, as well as the sensation of Epsilon self-destructing innnnn his head. As of last month, he's also dealing with guilt over Maine and CT, and an inability to save either of them. With CT especially, his failure there has renewed feelings of always being "the guy who went crazy" - his word might never be worth trusting, because who's to say he's completely compos mentis?

What is the type of person your character hopes to become? Someone who can fill the gaps in the lives of others until such a time that he's no longer needed. Wash views himself as a stopgap measure in a lot of respects, essentially. He's the leader of Blue Team until Tucker can step up to the plate. He's a replacement friend for Caboose until he can get over his codependency. That, for now, is good enough, and "good enough" is the best he's had in a long time so he's not going to wish for anything more.

What is the type of person you hope your character will become? A little more predisposed to think charitably of people? He defaults to distrust and holding people at arm's length so fucking often that it gets in the way of his capacity to actually be of much use in a ton of situations. Also being able to define himself outside the scope of what's happened to him - so much of Wash's method of self-identifying revolves around what was done to him and the shitty things he's done as opposed to the good he's certainly done and been capable of doing, time and time again. Someone a little less prone to default to self-destruction and viewing himself as collateral.

Do any of the Seven Deadly Sins stand out as applicable to your character? Why?

WRATH - This is one of the keystones of Wash's...everything. He's someone with a long, long history of anger issues, and he tends to keep that all under wraps, playing the long con to the max. He can keep his anger on hold for years until he has an opportunity to act on it. While he's on the road to letting grudges go, it's notable that his choices to do that almost never occur internally. If he chooses not to act on that long-standing anger, it's a choice made by people he trusts that he respects. He's not predisposed to show mercy unless properly motivated, and forgiveness is a tough thing to manage when you don't tend to forget someone else's sins, let alone your own.

Do any of the Seven Virtues stand out as applicable to your character? Why?

DILIGENCE - this man is a fucking cockroach. He's incredibly difficult to kill. He's not above abandoning an effort or giving up if he feels like the situation calls for it, nor is he driven by what is necessarily most ethical. He's pragmatic; it's only when he's reached absolute peak desperation that he's willing to throw a more practical understanding of the situation out the window and drive himself past his limits.

HUMILITY - NOT IN A GOOD WAY, IF WE'RE HONEST HERE. Wash is first to read himself as collateral in any given situation. A low-key self-destructive streak has almost always been present in his actions. His goals have simply gone from "self-destruct in the most practical way possible" to "well if this plan needs someone to take the fall i will be that person" and it's not necessarily something he's always aware of. When it is, he honestly doesn't see a problem with it!