aftr_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME ( 023 )

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*test drive meme

TEST DRIVE MEME ( 023 )

Test Drive Meme #23

Hello, and welcome to LifeAftr! We're pleased that you're expressing an interest in the game. Here, you can test the waters, gauge how your character may fare in the world of LifeAftr, and even gain some in-game incentives, if you so choose.

In conjunction with our monthly Test Drive Meme, Reserves are now open! Applications will open on April 24th!

Two important notes:

1. LifeAftr's test drives take place on the island of Mu, which exists apart from the real world and possesses a dream-like quality that characters are innately aware of from the moment they appear on its shores. No need to panic or fret. Dreams are odd things, after all - and anything can happen in them. Why would anyone question where their mind chooses to wander in its sleep?

2. Due to the nature of Mu, threads in our test drive can not only be accepted as thread samples in your application, but can be accepted as game canon as well. In fact, certain choices your character makes in Mu have the potential to bear in-game consequences, largely in the form of test drive reward items.

It's Hard Work
Today, Mu has sought to recreate the fantastic island of Io - the island where the local Avatar of Celebration resides. Io is resplendent with comforts and excitements designed for relaxation and delight, from wineries to play structures. One of the most popular draws are the bathhouses, which are massive, tiered structures of the utmost luxury. Multiple stories, hot and cold water, scented perfumes and shampoos...these bathhouses are designed for the utmost enjoyment and tranquility.

For paying customers, that is. Oh - did you think you were going to be relaxing? Not tonight. Tonight, you're on the bathhouse staff, and your job is to make those paying customers happy. Those customers, many of which appear to be nothing more than shadowy, faceless blobs of a vaguely humanoid shape, can make your life very miserable if they're unsatisfied with their care.

So...get to it! We need more towels on the second floor. The water heater is broken - who here knows how to fix it? This one needs a very exact perfumed blend to go in their water, so you'd better learn it quick. Make sure those floors are clean before anyone goes walking across them. Keep this house running, and you might just be allowed to relax with a warm bath at the end of the day as a reward.

But if you don't do a fine enough job, you might very well regret it. The bathhouse patrons, strange as they may be, have one very particular talent, and that talent is luck. If they're satisfied with their care, you might find a handful of gold coins in the gutters when you're clocking out - and they may very well still be in your knapsack if you end up waking up on the shores of LifeAftr.

If they're not, however, you'd better be especially cautious for the next few hours. Slippery patches of ground will seem to appear with far more regularity, or a precarious stack of towels may tip over right as you're walking by, or the water heater will break as you're washing your hands and scald you from the elbows up in boiling hot water.

Do a good job, and you'll be rewarded. If not...well, at least it's only for the night, right?

A Drink With Jam and Bread
Also unique to the island of Io are the tea gardens, which are exactly what they sound like. With softly glowing lanterns and thick, fragrant groves of tea leaves growing wild, the tea house is nestled at the very center of the garden. Within, all manner of kettles and mugs and strainers can be found, as well as dried tea leaves, honeys, milks, and spices. You can mix and match your own blends, pick from some of the pre-existing teabags, or even wander about the garden to pluck a few tea leaves straight from the trees.

Some of these drinks are relatively harmless. Others...not so much. And they all tend to affect people differently, too.

[ ♆ ] Black tea will fill you with energy, far more than the high caffeine content might allow. You feel like you can run ten miles - no, twenty! This may also, however, reduce your conceptualization of your own limits. You might be able to feel like you can lift one thousand pounds...but unless you've got super-strength to compensate, you might end up hurting yourself trying to do exactly that.

[ ♆ ] Chai tea will give you the ability to breathe fire, though only in short bursts about five feet ahead of you. If you try mixing different things into your chai - such as honey or milk - you might find that you can breathe different colors of fire as well. Just...take care not to set anything on fire. Those lanterns are lit by all sorts of tiny, firefly-esque bugs, and if they feel antagonized, they'll try and burn you right back.

[ ♆ ] Chamomile tea will relax you completely and utterly. In fact, it'll make you incredibly sleepy. You might start feeling tired gradually, or you might conk out right on the spot. Almost any surface suddenly feels very comfortable and easy enough to sleep on, from the ground beneath your feet to your buddy over there. Chamomile: better than the world's greatest sedative, evidently.

[ ♆ ] Earl grey tea will allow you the ability to shift in phase: make yourself and any part of your body corporeal or incorporeal on a whim. Just be sure that you don't have your arms or legs sticking into any solid surfaces by the time the effects wear off - or that'll make for some very painful removal.

[ ♆ ] Green tea will drastically increase or decrease your tolerance for pain. Either you'll feel absolutely fine no matter what kind of punishment is heaped on you...or anything from sneezing to stepping on someone's foot can feel abruptly excruciating. It's worth noting that this does nothing for one's resistance to that kind of damage. Green tea only alters the sensation behind the pain, meaning that whatever damage you might undergo is liable to be damaging, no matter how much you might be able to shrug off.

[ ♆ ] White tea will dramatically increase your sensitivity to physical stimulus. This can be either enchanting or positively overwhelming. Imagine being able to lie down in the grass and feel each blade beneath you in excruciating detail. Imagine being able to feel every air molecule flicking across your skin. Whether this improves your day or absolutely ruins it is down to how much you enjoy that sort of thing.

So take care which of these blends you sample. Some of these effects might even stack, which can really ruin your day.

We Don't Need Another Hero
Fun doesn't always go hand in hand with relaxation. Perhaps you're the sort who'd prefer to have your adrenaline pumping, grinning around a missing tooth as you lay a beatdown on your opponent. Maybe you need some excitement and some action to really feel like you're living. Sure, you might get a few bruises - but check out the other guy.

As Mu is more eager to please on this front than its real world counterpart, those keen on letting loose all their pent up energy will find a rather good area for it. Inexplicably located within the complicated twists and turns of the Honeycomb is the perfect location to hurl yourself into an all-out brawl; an almost stadium-like fighting arena. Shadowy silhouettes are piled into the seats in excited speculation - you can hear them hissing and sputtering in disappointment or delight, or erupting into cheers, whenever blood is spilled.

Or....not spilled, as it were.

Those who enter the fighting arena must pass through a curtain of clear, streaming liquid before they may take up a weapon. This will only temporarily strike you with the oddest sensation on your skin: a coating reminiscent of wax which provides the user with nigh invulnerability to even the most overpowered of attacks. Further experimentation will prove that the walls, floor, and ceilings also sport this exceptional defense. Blood, bruises, and structural damage might be off the table - but that good old fashioned brawl? It's on, like a cartoonish ape from a prominent video game series. What your audience wants is a spectacle, not a bloodbath, so you'd best give them the show they deserve.

Alongside the freedom to punch, kick, stab, and slash at one another without fear of permanent damage comes a complimentary arsenal for those who feel like getting creative. Honeycomb Sledgehammers, Cactus Clubs, and the ever popular arm holding onto another arm that's holding onto a knife are just a few of the weaponry that innocently rest at the edges of the battlefield, with a full selection limited by nothing more than your imagination.

Unfortunately, imagination is all it is - upon waking, those currently living in LifeAftr will find those weapons remain a fanciful dream...but the memories remain, nonetheless. And the aches might very well, too.

LOGS ● OOC ● STORIES ● MAIN NAVIGATION

( CODED BY BOOTYCALL )

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i
[The last time he worked in the service of anyone was never, so you'll forgive if Kaiba's not the biggest fan of being reduced to a sweaty errand boy. There are several times where he just...walks out, mumbling something about having better things to do, and always, inevitably, ends up right back here, stack of towels at the ready and looking not unlike someone is going to die.

(Not of fun.)

So when he does finally actually start working, he's...oof. He's gonna garner a lotta bad luck with the way he deals directly with the amorphous blobs that are supposedly, theoretically, customers. This may not be the strangest thing to happen to him yet, but it's pretty damn close. His tone would be a monotone if not for the frustration laced through his words, and he does everything stiffly. But swiftly. There's little motion he expends that isn't seemingly calculated to be efficient, and when he actually hunkers down to work, it's a good job. Maybe not the fastest, but good. Apparently if you can't do something right, then it's not worth doing.

Which really seems to come to a head when someone mentions the water heater being busted, and without anyone even asking him, he rolls up his sleeves.] So long as you have tools somewhere, I'll fix it. Out of the way.

ii
[He'd prefer coffee as his caffeinated drink of choice, but tea will do as a healthier alternative. So...yeah, he's definitely running around feeling like he could take on the world. Sorry, is this island for relaxing and celebrating and all that? He's doing the opposite. Please give him something to do or he's going to climb everything and also jump off of things once he does, and maybe even get the idea in his head that he can swim to the other islands and do not let him do that.

It gets more fun when he starts breathing blue flames. Cuz of course he's gonna end up breathing blue flames and cackling something about burst stream of destruction.

He'll be mortified when the teas wear off. ...And also start picking some to take with him. This is certainly still one of the better dreams he's had since the show.]

[ The two green creatures having the discussion - one a toad, the other a tall man who looks human aside from his pointed ears - look over to regard the source of the terse interruption. A pair of yellow, viper-like eyes give Kaiba a once over before the taller of the pair takes a step to clear the hall.

"Well there you have it!" Shrills the frog, who also reaches into the collar of his uniform to procure a long, wooden pipe. "It's your problem. You take him!" ]

Where're the tools?

[ The half-orc inquires, but the frog, pipe now clamped in mouth, just springs dismissively down the hall at speed past Kaiba. ]

Fuck...

[ Fjord scowls after their manager, the black-clawed fingers of his right hand twitching. He's tempted to launch a magical bolt after the damn thing, but his eyes twitch back to the human. He sighs. ]

I dunno where the boiler-room is yet, compadre, but how'd you feel about takin' a walk 'til we find it?

[ One scarred brow ticks up. There's a drawl to his speech - a good ear might guess East Texas, a bad one the American South, though neither are anywhere near the truth. ]

[A younger him would probably just have shoved past and barked something about finding it himself. Now? Well, he still crosses his arms and looks distinctly unimpressed. But that also just might be how his face is.]

If our...employers aren't going to assist in something as basic as showing us where everything is, then I suppose that's the only real way we'll find it.

[Aw, he's even using 'we'! Progress. He doesn't wait for the green guy on anything else, though, and starts walking. But he doesn't just leave it at that.]

Your problem, huh?

And we can hardly be blamed for any delays or detours we might have to take in familiarizin' ourselves with the facilities.

[ Fjord finishes, falling in beside Kaiba after the man begins to make his way past him in the hall. They're about the same height so they can probably keep the same pace; while Fjord's not at a leisurely stroll, however, he's not about to power-walk.

He gives a deep, dissatisfied grunt to the question. ]

Hard to scrub the damn gunk off this place without some hot water. I suppose I oughta be grateful it didn't crap out while I was playin' host - if it's not hospitality's problem yet, it will be soon. With any luck ol' toadface will be the one that gets the most shit from these shadowfolk when he gets back from his smoke break.

[ His tone suggests he doesn't have faith in that being the case, however. ]

You some sorta... engineer? Wizard?

[ The pause and the way he says 'engineer' makes it sound like he had to search his memory for the term and isn't certain of it. 'Wizard', however, he's totally confident and comfortable with. ]

[Note to self: next D&D campaign, make an engineer wizard. And maybe try literally any other race than dragonborn.

And certainly he doesn't mind the idea of detours. It's bound to end better than when he and Akira went where they shouldn't have gone, even if it was just in a virtual world. But, fuck, this is a dream world anyway, isn't it? It could be worse.

Eh, he can handle that.]

Hard to run a comfortable bathhouse at all without the bath. [He smirks at the question.] You could say I'm a little of both, but I far more lean toward engineer. I doubt a boiler is going to give me any trouble. It's bound to be a leak or a faulty sensor more than anything else catastrophic.

I take it wizards are more common where you're from.

[ You're in luck, Kaiba. Wizards of the Coast just released the Artificer after years of anticipation. Nerd.

Fjord nods and makes some humming at the speculation regarding the boiler's malfunction, pretending like he knows what it all means. He understands the 'leak' part, anyway. ]

Well now, I wouldn't necessarily say common, but most major cities and anyone else that can afford 'em have a few. Seems reasonable to think an establishment as large as this one might have a wizard or a cleric on hand to fire the furnace or generate the water.

Wizards, they're uh... usually from more upper-crust backgrounds. Lotta time for book-learnin' and material expenses to be a wizard. If you don't mind my askin', whereabouts are you from, friend?

[He's got the upper-crust and book-learning and material expenses down at least. Kaiba actually laughs.]

I very much doubt you've heard of Domino, in Japan. Where exactly do you think we are?

[because fuck if he knows either]

[ Fjord was just venturing a guess from what he'd seen so far, but Kaiba seems to have the sort of impatient attitude of someone who has either worked too hard and independently to suffer fools or simply thinks himself above the working class. With this sort of response, he's still not sure of either, and is currently trying to interpret whether the human thinks he's too stupid to have heard of this 'Domino in Japan' or if it's a really podunk place. ]

Can't say I have.

So far as where we are now goes? ...A fuckin' nightmare, perhaps?

Sure as hell hope it ain't the afterlife.

No, the afterlife is Florida. [It's a joke for his own benefit, and he barrels right along, not interested in explaining it.]

None of this is real. Not as far as I can tell. Normally I'd say it's some kind of simulation, a virtual reality, but I'm not so sure this time. But if it's a dream, I'd wager it's a shared one. And in the end, that's still some kind of simulated reality, whether there's technology or magic involved.

[ Though the greener of the men quirks a brow, Kaiba soon makes it clear which is an in-joke and which is his serious theory. Fjord understands... maybe a quarter of it. He remains cool, though, his tone suggesting curiosity more than confusion when he asks: ]

What brought you to that conclusion?

It's usually a simulation.

[Take it from the guy that's been trapped in, like, four of them.]

There's no obvious transition between where we were before and being here. Unless you count sleep. We're just here suddenly, working in a place we've no business working at, at least speaking for myself. And at least the two of us are from different worlds entirely. [No half-orcs on Earth except in games.] These...customers being amorphous blobs seem like they're just filler, something to give this place a reason to function, rather than this place functioning for them.

[ He's definitely taking the other man's confidence about the matter into consideration. It is certainly true that the last thing Fjord remembers is passing out after a pretty harrowing battle where he nearly got killed. The fact the human didn't confess to a near-death experience of his own when offered up an afterlife as an idea is pretty encouraging to Fjord, though he also realizes the other might be withholding information; he certainly is, after all. ]

Let's say you're right. Is there any way we'd be able to tell for certain? More importantly, any way of bustin' out?

[ As they pass a door in the hallway that looks like a proper wooden door - as opposed to one of those sliding paper ones - Fjord pauses to open it. It's almost pitch-black in there. ]

Some sorta supply room. Tools?

...Depends on the sophistication. Last time, we hadn't been able to tell for certain. In others, I knew it wasn't real going into it, even willingly going in. Sometimes there are glitches in the system, but...for the most, aside from the strange or impossible circumstances, not really. Sometimes you might find boundaries, places you can't pass that you might normally be able to. Or you'll find that, if you have abilities that are superhuman in nature, they're tampered with.

The idea of a virtual reality is it's supposed to simulate reality, after all.

[He pauses when Fjord does, peers into the darkness. Could be that a door not belonging to the theme is a hint at something...or it's just an indication to the 'guests' that it's not supposed to be for them. Either way, it's something.]

Got a light?

[ Fjord's just going to take a moment to chew on that jargon in his mind while he physically steps through the doorway and into the darkness. ]

No, but I can see. Suppose you can count off one super-human ability that's still intact.

[ There are lanterns hung up to light the halls if Kaiba really wants to fetch one. ]

What am I lookin' for?

[Weird, he must've left his night vision goggles at home. He feels around the inside of the doorway for a moment in the vain hope of an actual honest-to-god lightswitch, but alas. So, like a natural High Int Low Wis, he goes inside anyway and hopes his eyes naturally adjust in short order.]

Need the right tool for the right job, and we don't technically know what the job is other than 'fix the broken thing'. Let me tell you how incredibly helpful that is. Just the basics should do. Screwdrivers, a couple sizes, some flat-heads too. Hammer, doubt we'll need it, but can't be too careful. Duct tape.

...God, does this place even have duct tape? Electrical tape? What level of technology are we even dealing with? Sure, this looks like a very traditional bathhouse, but some people like that aesthetic. Tourists, mostly. Maybe there's a decent soldering iron and goggles in here if we're lucky...

And failing that? Anything weird or out of place. Strange items. Trap doors. Locks on things that shouldn't be locked.

[ Of course, Fjord's a little distracted from his investigation by watching the human feel up the wall inside the door. Is he checking for traps or something? But it's just a storage room... and he already walked in? When he does turn his attention back to the racks full of towels and the corner full of mops, he realizes the other man's description of the tools doesn't really clarify for him what he needs. Yeah, Mister INT+2 WIS-2 over here and Kaiba are going to be muddling through this place just great. ]

So we're either gonna fix somethin' or break into somethin' else...?

[ Fjord sniffs. ]

Nah, cool. I'm in.

[ He's just going to step to the back of the room and start toeing aside brooms and buckets like he's indeed searching for supplies and just hope the human's eyes do indeed adjust in the dim light from the outside. He'll also give the wooden floor a few stomps to make sure it's solid beneath them. But Kaiba, buddy, have you even seen one electrical outlet in this place? ]

[It's killing him that this place is so folksy and traditional and...not at all modern. He's wasting away. Where is the electricity? Where is the power? What, is he expected to play cards on a table like a plebe?]

I'm not averse to breaking things in order to get a result.

[He...does not actually mean for that to sound as menacing as it probably does. Look, if they gotta bust some walls, he's down for it. But they aren't going to bust walls with towels and mops.]

But this doesn't seem to be getting us anywhere.

At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if they heat the water with a bucket hung over coals and someone's too stupid to keep the coal burning.

That's usually how they do it, but I'd expect a place like this has got some sorta more efficient set-up. Before all you had to do was just yank the water cord and it'd come outta the pipes.

[ Can't miss the technology you've never had. RIP, Kaiba. ]

Man, fuck this. Maybe there's somethin' down in the boiler r--

[ As Fjord turns heel to head back out of the room, his foot knocks something under the lowest shelf of the towel racks that gives a metallic clatter. Pausing, Fjord crouches down to dig under it and pulls out a little wooden box that does, indeed, look to be full of tools. ]

Found a hammer... shears, and a spanner.

[ He stands, offering Kaiba the box to inspect. There are a few other things in there, but Fjord can't rightly identify them. No soldering iron or goggles, though, buddy. ]

[Good, he might've missed it entirely. Some of us don't have darkvision as a race trait. He takes the box and carries it back out in the hall to see properly...meh.]

I've done more with less. [citation needed] I just wish this place had anything better I could work with. Someone's cellphone to borrow, a router to cannibalize, a damn credit card chip reader...

All right, let's keep looking--what's your name, anyway?

[ Get dunked on, humie... Seriously though, the half-orc wouldn't have found the toolbox if he hadn't accidentally kicked it. Darkvision can't help you much if you roll poorly on your investigation checks. He steps out behind Kaiba and swings the door shut quietly. He's ready to keep walking. ]

Fjord.

[ Pronounced "Ford". ]

You?

[Thank god, cuz if it was pronounced fjord he was going to have to have a moment of incredulity there.]

Kaiba.

[He'd been getting better about people using his given name, but random strangers on the ~~internet~~ dreamscape VR? Nah. He has to step aside to allow one of the translucent blobby people by, and he eyes the being with no small amount of suspicion.]

I'm going to be incredibly upset if this is one of those places where the only viable way out is death.

[ People have pronounced it like that. "F'jord" and "Fyord" have both been offered to him, usually as an attempt to mock him. Fjord's counteracted it by simply saying every way is valid and he'll accept them all.

He gives a nod and a quiet 'Kaiba' to himself, his accent making it a little more of a 'Kah-buh', to help him memorize. It's the sort of name that would fit into his world easy enough, so he doesn't even consider it might be a surname.

As they pass the shadowy patron, Fjord gives a courteous nod of his head and a 'Good evenin''. He's about to spin some equal attempt at charm for his company when Kaiba's musing makes him forget it entirely. ]

You uh... you ever had to do that before?

[ Fjord's so distracted he's about to miss the next closed door. ]

Edited 2019-05-28 05:49 (UTC)

[So long as he doesn't say it like koi-buh.]

Interdimensional game of death. [He says it so nonchalantly you might actually think it wasn't deeply traumatizing or anything.] Mind you, that also ended up being a simulation, but we didn't have concrete proof of that at the time as people fell week by week. [It was hardly enough for him to gloat about being right from day one about it after suffering the simulated experience of solar radiation.

So, short answer, yes. Kaiba stops at the next door, not missing a beat here.] More storage?

[ He's from fantasy-Texas, not fantasy-New Jersey. Not that there'd be anything wrong with that, Kaiba.

Fjord's able to keep his expression playing along with the human's nonchalant reply even if internally he's feeling a bit concerned. Probably less than a normal person might, however. ]

Uh-huh.... Huh?

[ Fjord goes from musing to getting directed to the door that seemed to appear from nowhere. ]

Only one way to find out.

[ He gives a rather expectant pause, staring at the human. Well? He opened the last door, Kaiba. Are you a bad enough dude to open this one?

Should the human hesitate for more than a few more seconds, the half-orc will take on the task of opening it himself. It's unlocked, though it turns out it can be barred from the inside with a wooden slab. There are winding wooden stairs leading down into darkness and a waft of humid air to wash over them. ]

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TEST DRIVE MEME ( 023 )

Seto Kaiba | YuGiOh | Airlocked CRAU

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