aftr_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME ( 023 )

Entry tags:

*test drive meme

TEST DRIVE MEME ( 023 )

Test Drive Meme #23

Hello, and welcome to LifeAftr! We're pleased that you're expressing an interest in the game. Here, you can test the waters, gauge how your character may fare in the world of LifeAftr, and even gain some in-game incentives, if you so choose.

In conjunction with our monthly Test Drive Meme, Reserves are now open! Applications will open on April 24th!

Two important notes:

1. LifeAftr's test drives take place on the island of Mu, which exists apart from the real world and possesses a dream-like quality that characters are innately aware of from the moment they appear on its shores. No need to panic or fret. Dreams are odd things, after all - and anything can happen in them. Why would anyone question where their mind chooses to wander in its sleep?

2. Due to the nature of Mu, threads in our test drive can not only be accepted as thread samples in your application, but can be accepted as game canon as well. In fact, certain choices your character makes in Mu have the potential to bear in-game consequences, largely in the form of test drive reward items.

It's Hard Work
Today, Mu has sought to recreate the fantastic island of Io - the island where the local Avatar of Celebration resides. Io is resplendent with comforts and excitements designed for relaxation and delight, from wineries to play structures. One of the most popular draws are the bathhouses, which are massive, tiered structures of the utmost luxury. Multiple stories, hot and cold water, scented perfumes and shampoos...these bathhouses are designed for the utmost enjoyment and tranquility.

For paying customers, that is. Oh - did you think you were going to be relaxing? Not tonight. Tonight, you're on the bathhouse staff, and your job is to make those paying customers happy. Those customers, many of which appear to be nothing more than shadowy, faceless blobs of a vaguely humanoid shape, can make your life very miserable if they're unsatisfied with their care.

So...get to it! We need more towels on the second floor. The water heater is broken - who here knows how to fix it? This one needs a very exact perfumed blend to go in their water, so you'd better learn it quick. Make sure those floors are clean before anyone goes walking across them. Keep this house running, and you might just be allowed to relax with a warm bath at the end of the day as a reward.

But if you don't do a fine enough job, you might very well regret it. The bathhouse patrons, strange as they may be, have one very particular talent, and that talent is luck. If they're satisfied with their care, you might find a handful of gold coins in the gutters when you're clocking out - and they may very well still be in your knapsack if you end up waking up on the shores of LifeAftr.

If they're not, however, you'd better be especially cautious for the next few hours. Slippery patches of ground will seem to appear with far more regularity, or a precarious stack of towels may tip over right as you're walking by, or the water heater will break as you're washing your hands and scald you from the elbows up in boiling hot water.

Do a good job, and you'll be rewarded. If not...well, at least it's only for the night, right?

A Drink With Jam and Bread
Also unique to the island of Io are the tea gardens, which are exactly what they sound like. With softly glowing lanterns and thick, fragrant groves of tea leaves growing wild, the tea house is nestled at the very center of the garden. Within, all manner of kettles and mugs and strainers can be found, as well as dried tea leaves, honeys, milks, and spices. You can mix and match your own blends, pick from some of the pre-existing teabags, or even wander about the garden to pluck a few tea leaves straight from the trees.

Some of these drinks are relatively harmless. Others...not so much. And they all tend to affect people differently, too.

[ ♆ ] Black tea will fill you with energy, far more than the high caffeine content might allow. You feel like you can run ten miles - no, twenty! This may also, however, reduce your conceptualization of your own limits. You might be able to feel like you can lift one thousand pounds...but unless you've got super-strength to compensate, you might end up hurting yourself trying to do exactly that.

[ ♆ ] Chai tea will give you the ability to breathe fire, though only in short bursts about five feet ahead of you. If you try mixing different things into your chai - such as honey or milk - you might find that you can breathe different colors of fire as well. Just...take care not to set anything on fire. Those lanterns are lit by all sorts of tiny, firefly-esque bugs, and if they feel antagonized, they'll try and burn you right back.

[ ♆ ] Chamomile tea will relax you completely and utterly. In fact, it'll make you incredibly sleepy. You might start feeling tired gradually, or you might conk out right on the spot. Almost any surface suddenly feels very comfortable and easy enough to sleep on, from the ground beneath your feet to your buddy over there. Chamomile: better than the world's greatest sedative, evidently.

[ ♆ ] Earl grey tea will allow you the ability to shift in phase: make yourself and any part of your body corporeal or incorporeal on a whim. Just be sure that you don't have your arms or legs sticking into any solid surfaces by the time the effects wear off - or that'll make for some very painful removal.

[ ♆ ] Green tea will drastically increase or decrease your tolerance for pain. Either you'll feel absolutely fine no matter what kind of punishment is heaped on you...or anything from sneezing to stepping on someone's foot can feel abruptly excruciating. It's worth noting that this does nothing for one's resistance to that kind of damage. Green tea only alters the sensation behind the pain, meaning that whatever damage you might undergo is liable to be damaging, no matter how much you might be able to shrug off.

[ ♆ ] White tea will dramatically increase your sensitivity to physical stimulus. This can be either enchanting or positively overwhelming. Imagine being able to lie down in the grass and feel each blade beneath you in excruciating detail. Imagine being able to feel every air molecule flicking across your skin. Whether this improves your day or absolutely ruins it is down to how much you enjoy that sort of thing.

So take care which of these blends you sample. Some of these effects might even stack, which can really ruin your day.

We Don't Need Another Hero
Fun doesn't always go hand in hand with relaxation. Perhaps you're the sort who'd prefer to have your adrenaline pumping, grinning around a missing tooth as you lay a beatdown on your opponent. Maybe you need some excitement and some action to really feel like you're living. Sure, you might get a few bruises - but check out the other guy.

As Mu is more eager to please on this front than its real world counterpart, those keen on letting loose all their pent up energy will find a rather good area for it. Inexplicably located within the complicated twists and turns of the Honeycomb is the perfect location to hurl yourself into an all-out brawl; an almost stadium-like fighting arena. Shadowy silhouettes are piled into the seats in excited speculation - you can hear them hissing and sputtering in disappointment or delight, or erupting into cheers, whenever blood is spilled.

Or....not spilled, as it were.

Those who enter the fighting arena must pass through a curtain of clear, streaming liquid before they may take up a weapon. This will only temporarily strike you with the oddest sensation on your skin: a coating reminiscent of wax which provides the user with nigh invulnerability to even the most overpowered of attacks. Further experimentation will prove that the walls, floor, and ceilings also sport this exceptional defense. Blood, bruises, and structural damage might be off the table - but that good old fashioned brawl? It's on, like a cartoonish ape from a prominent video game series. What your audience wants is a spectacle, not a bloodbath, so you'd best give them the show they deserve.

Alongside the freedom to punch, kick, stab, and slash at one another without fear of permanent damage comes a complimentary arsenal for those who feel like getting creative. Honeycomb Sledgehammers, Cactus Clubs, and the ever popular arm holding onto another arm that's holding onto a knife are just a few of the weaponry that innocently rest at the edges of the battlefield, with a full selection limited by nothing more than your imagination.

Unfortunately, imagination is all it is - upon waking, those currently living in LifeAftr will find those weapons remain a fanciful dream...but the memories remain, nonetheless. And the aches might very well, too.

LOGS ● OOC ● STORIES ● MAIN NAVIGATION

( CODED BY BOOTYCALL )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

🔪 it's hard work

Diego knows he's been spending too much time doing odd jobs and janitorial work around the gym when he starts dreaming about mopping up and fixing the boiler. It's weird that he's dreaming he's in a bath house, because usually when Diego dreams, they're very mundane, copies or mashups of the things he did during the day. Sure, maybe he dreams he's fighting a gang of home invaders in the gym, using a mop, but it's not some fantastical thing he's never seen in a movie or whatever.

Still, he's amiable enough, mopping the floor while the big faceless blobs wander by, ducking his head politely but not talking much unless spoken to. When the boiler goes down and there's a huge flurry of panic, well. Diego's fixed the boiler a few times in the past few years, so he heads on over, leans in to look at the pressure gauge.

"Hey." he asks whoever might be around, "Mind handing me that screwdriver over there?"

🔪 we don't need another hero

This is more like it.

Still weird, for a dream, but Diego's always functioned best when he has a productive way of getting rid of the aggression that's perpetually building up in him. And fighting is what he does best.

Smirking, he swaggers into the stadium, picks up a bandolier full of assorted types of ridiculous knives, tilts his head and withdraws one, holding it between two fingers, the picture of cockiness.

"You really sure you wanna take a go at me?"

🔪 wildcard

Honestly just write me a random starter wherever and I'll reply, even if your character's just minding their own business. Or you can hit me up at coffee #6251 on Discord or private plurk me at caffemisto.

Hey, so this dream? Klaus hates it! He tried to explain to anyone within earshot, fellow workers, supervisors, or patrons alike, that he's pretty sure he's permanently deferred from any and all employment. It's just that real world logic doesn't apply to dream logic, and so Klaus can't actually explain in a meaningful way to anyone around him that he's never had an actual job in his life, nor does he have the skills necessary to have gotten this one in the first place.

Some workers are entry level, and some workers are at a secret, lower level than that. Klaus is even lower than those guys.

So he's mostly just trying to stay out of the way and sneak snacks and wine where he can, doing his best to not look obviously like he's shirking every single one of his responsibilities. He just also happens to be within earshot of the boiler shitting itself.

And within earshot of a very familiar voice asking for a screwdriver.

So. While he normally might've just gone for cover so no one could try to get him to help repair the thing, instead he just sort of hovers closer to where his brother is checking out gauges and what have you.

And then, rather than handing Diego a screwdriver, he hands him a screwdriver.

Okay, not really, they don't do a ton of vodka drinks at the winery here, it's just a glass of wine.

"Oh hey thanks."

Diego says it casually, holding his hand out expectantly when he hears someone come up behind him. But instead of a knobby screwdriver handle, he finds himself holding the cool stem of a glass of wine.

For a moment, he just stares at it, completely puzzled. This dream just got really weird.

Then his gaze lifts and he makes direct eye contact with Klaus, and everything makes sense. Of course Klaus would hand him alcohol instead of an actual tool. Of course.

"Seriously, man? I thought you were sober."

"Oh, come on." It's almost like Klaus can't fall off the wagon in peace over here. He's not even high right now, just slightly tipsy. This is so rude.

And he would have a lot more of a leg to stand on to be annoyed that he's getting the "I thought you were sober" yet again if he hadn't... recently tripped on shrooms. And also gotten the name and location of a guy who can hook him up with some pot. At least the first time, when Ben said something similar, Klaus was genuinely innocent. Somehow, though, this just makes Klaus more agitated about it.

"This is a dream, it doesn't even count." So obviously the answer is to deflect.

Even as Klaus protests, Diego is shaking his head, staring in disgust at the glass of wine, and it's pretty obvious Klaus actually isn't sober this time. Maybe not out-of-his-mind high, but he's had a drink or two. Diego can smell it on his breath, dream or not.

When Klaus says that it's a dream and doesn't even count, Diego's brow smooths, and he smirks slightly. Maintains eye contact and tips his hand, spilling the wine out onto the floor by the boiler.

"Fine. If it's a dream and doesn't count, that shouldn't bother you."

Shaking his head (again, because Klaus has that effect on him), he puts the glass down on a nearby shelf, and scoops up the screwdriver.

"What the hell is this place, man?"

Edited 2019-05-23 19:27 (UTC)

Klaus doesn't catch what Diego is about to do, but the smirk instantly brings him dread. When he starts tipping the wine over, Klaus nearly tries to—what, catch it? He realizes how useless that would be halfway through the act and instead just looks on in shock and horror.

"Diego, you fucking—"

And then his brother just picks up the screwdriver like he didn't just commit a sin against... well, not God, but Klaus, because God is kind of a dick and wouldn't really care. She might just think it was funny, really. Heinous.

"'This place,'" Klaus says, air quotes included, "is party island, and you just... You know I'm not above licking the floor, you monster."

"No, but I can't actually hand you anything." He absolutely can, but the important part here is Diego doesn't know he can and Ben actually doesn't feel like doing anything. "Klaus isn't here."

Since this is a dream, Ben's not particularly surprised that Diego's here. Five said everyone would be coming soon and so of course that would mean that their other siblings would show up. And because he was in a dream with Klaus before arriving, it would make sense that Diego would also show up in a dream first. It doesn't occur to him that the opposite isn't necessarily true and that Diego might be surprised by his presence. Well, and might not necessarily recognize him.

They all saw Klaus channel him, but at the same time none of them were really close enough to properly see that he's aged. That shouldn't even be possible, really, but Ben stopped questioning it ages ago. It's Klaus' coping mechanism, not his.

The person responding to him doesn't exactly catch his attention at first, he just sort of hums and nods, turns and grabs the screwdriver himself. Then it registers that the guy mentioned Klaus, and he stops to take a look at him seriously.

There's something distinctly familiar about him. Not really the way he looks, but maybe the demeanor? Maybe...a friend of Klaus that Diego's seen at some point? Or is it...where has he seen that face before...?

Wait.

It clicks a moment later that the guy said he can't hand him anything because Klaus isn't here. Who does he know who needs Klaus to...

Diego's mouth drops open, and he lifts a hand, points at the guy.

"W-w-w-wait...Ben?"

"Uh, yes?" There's a hint of duh in his voice. "I did say I was coming when Five asked."

Aside from the obvious visual differences, there's a kind of tone in Ben's voice that's reminiscent of Klaus. It's a kind of flippant familiarity, like of course that's how it is, and it probably seems a little bit at odds with the vaguely shy and soft-spoken Ben that Diego probably remembers.

"By the way, Five's here too." Ben's kicking his feet back and forth idly while he sits on something nearby. "Everybody else hasn't shown up yet, though."

Diego had never been particularly close with Ben before he'd died. He hadn't really been particularly close with anyone other than Mom when he was a kid. Sure, he'd liked a few of them well enough - Ben and Klaus and Vanya mostly - but he'd never been really close. He'd always had too much of his own shit going on.

So he's not really sure how he's supposed to react when his dead and previously very shy and kind of too-gentle-for-this-shit brother is suddenly appearing without Klaus and making a sarcastic comment. Staring, he opens his mouth and then closes it, eyes still wide, shakes his head as if to clear away a brain fog, clarifies to himself that Ben is still sitting there kicking his feet and telling him Five's here too.

"Huh."

Very eloquent.

"That's, uh. Wow."

The man has a way with words.

"I lost Klaus earlier, because I can't -" Ben pauses, trying to think of how to word his issue without revealing he's actually alive. "He using to be like a honing beacon for me, but it's not working here."

He's so used to Klaus working through some shit while he's chatting that he doesn't actually stop his chattering to address the fact that Diego's clearly a little bit confused and maybe requires some explanation of what's going on. It's fine. Diego will work through it. Diego doesn't need Ben to handhold him through the process of coming to terms with the situation.

. . . Or maybe he does, but Klaus doesn't and Ben treats talking to everyone like he treats talking to Klaus now.

"Which kind of sucks, because every time I leave him alone for five minutes he does something stupid. He tried to drink rubbing alcohol the other day."

Frankly, Diego probably does need a bit of handholding to come to terms with this, or at least he would if he hadn't abruptly remembered that this is a dream (even if it's a particularly weird one) and that's probably why Ben is here. Thankfully, that thought makes just enough sense that he can use it as an excuse to get over the fact that Ben is sitting right there talking to him like it's nothing. His dead brother Ben.

"Wait, what, Klaus is your honing beacon? Because of the seeing dead people thing?"

Okay, those are words, coming out of his mouth. Okay. This is fine.

"And uh, that really does not surprise me."

A Hargreeves brother doing some simple, honest work in this dream? Apparently, it's more likely than you think. Obviously that brother is not Five, who at any point in his life has literally six to ten better things to do than whatever he's being told. The first person who'd gotten pushy about putting him to work is still struggling to remove a broom handle from their thigh. He hasn't been staying in any area long enough to be noticed since then.

Of course, some sort of upper management panic warrants a closer look and he wanders into the boiler room, carrying a drink with an umbrella in it that he relieved some patron of. If he's surprised to see Diego he doesn't show it, instead opting to slip a hand into his pocket and hover with mild interest.

"I'm curious. Do you actually know what you're doing? Doesn't exactly seem like your... area of expertise." Can't be solved by stabbing it, for one.

Diego manages to mostly contain the startled little jump when Five starts talking over his shoulder, and then rolls his eyes, straightening and turning to look at his brother. Glaring a little, he leans around Five and snatches up the screwdriver himself, shaking his head. Of course the little prick can't be bothered to help.

"Yes, I actually know what I'm doing. Did you miss the part where I live in a boiler room?"

Shifting in a little closer, he starts working with one of the pressure gauges, "What would you call my area of expertise then?"

He can guess, of course, but it's conversation.

You know, this bougie ass bathhouse is really turning out to be much less of Taako's scene than initially expected. Which is a shame, because it seems like it would probably be a pretty dope operation if there weren't a bunch of--shudder--customers and work-related expectations in his way. Taako's over it and the kitchen wasn't hiring, so here he is, where the boiler lives.

Or doesn't. He considers the screwdriver as well as the ostensible repairman, both of equally unknown provenance, before passing it over with an invisible Mage Hand. Shit's probably got grease and handjuice and whatnot, no thank you. Also this seems like the kinda place where cursed implements might get magically glued to lazy wizard-hands.

"So are you like, a ninja-plumber or a really confused cat-burglar or what?"

"Hey, thanks."

It's actually kind of a shock when the screwdriver is tucked into his hand. See, Diego's not used to actually getting any kind of assistance when he asks for it, because he tends to hang out with a bunch of knuckleheads most of the time. Considering this is a dream, he doesn't really comment on the invisible hand thing, he's just gonna glaze that one right over and not question it right now.

For a few moments, he continues to work on the boiler, until the person behind him asks if he's a ninja-plumber or a confused cat-burglar, and he snorts. Puts down the screwdriver and turns, one brow raised as he looks at the femme elf-boy standing behind him. Dark eyes flick up and down the length of him, and he sighs, rubs at his face.

"Neither. I'm a vigilante. Who happens to know how to fix a boiler in a pinch."

Magic was a test and Mission Impossible here just...passed? Maybe? He'll mark that down as a pass. If he's not here to steal the crown jewels from the boiler and he's not gonna be rused into treating Taako like whatever arcane royalty frequents this bathhouse, what's even the point.

Taako accepts being once-overed affably enough, smiling like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth on this or any social occasion and grifting was never on the table. He's actually trying to remember what exactly 'vigilante' means when people who seriously call themselves that say it, and mostly sort of failing. Blade? Was Blade a vigilante? Probably.

"Ahh, so unemployed, then," Taako concludes, before steepling his hands, rolling to save Diego from himself. "You know, I don't think this is gonna be a paying gig. Right? I mean, did you sign anything? Maybe you oughta-- Maybe stop bringing the boiler to justice and do some negotiating on your own terms."

After the number of years he's spent around Klaus, a certain level of interesting fashion choices, muddled gender norms, and extremely strange incidents is completely par for the course. Considering this is, as far as he can tell, a dream, it's also not too weird.

"Not exactly, no." he says, brows furrowed, defenses coming up just a smidge. Since Luther made fun of his janitorial job, it's been a bit of a sore spot, but he's also not going to go too into detail on what his job actually is, because he's pretty sure this guy will make fun of it too.

You can kinda sense that about this guy. He's gonna make fun of you and everything you hold dear.

The comment about not getting paid makes Diego snort, and he rolls his eyes again, "Whatever. Fixing a boiler's easy. I never asked to get paid."

Diego's instincts are correct; Taako absolutely will make fun of him and everything he cares about, but that's part of his...charm? It's unavoidable, anyway. It's not really antagonism, even. Taako's treatment is refreshingly egalitarian in that way.

He notes Diego's inexpert evasion but doesn't comment, though the assertion re: boiler fixing gets a doubtfully backturned ear. He's not sure it is easy, actually, but why quibble. Taako has many hidden depths but boiler lore isn't in there. Mostly what's in there is currently unsolicited advice.

"Yeah, and there's your first mistake. Besides, that's just where it starts. You show one sign of competence and suddenly you're carrying your whole party! For free!" Swept away by his own (unearned) grievance Taako gestures expansively, from the boiler to any number of nebulous potential responsibilities that might lurk in Diego's future, before changing tacks completely.

"Speaking of which, name-branded life coaching isn't cheap just because I'm giving it away in a dream. Remember that, when you wake up."

Diego's instincts are honed by years and years of criticism and ridicule, and he can sniff out someone who's going to continue the trend like a bloodhound. What he's never run into before are elven body language cues, but it's still pretty easy to tell that this guy doesn't believe him about the boiler.

Whatever. He's already half-done fixing it, so prettyboy elf can suck on that.

The commentary continues, though, and Diego just patiently listens while he keeps working on the boiler, glancing over his shoulder every now and again. When elf boy mentions being competent and carrying the whole party, Diego snorts again.

"You say that like I don't already carry my team, elf boy."

Brushing his hands off on each other, he sits on his heels for a moment and rubs his hand across a sweaty forehead, glancing back at the guy again.

"Name's Diego." he says, a little brusquely, "If you want me to owe you, you'll have to give me your name."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

TEST DRIVE MEME ( 023 )

diego hargreeves 🔪 the umbrella academy

hard work

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

hard work

no subject

hard work (or as i call it, 'three tools wind up in a boilerroom')

holy shit someone finally handed him the screwdriver - of course it wasn't a hargreeves...

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject